


anchor

by domokunrainbowkinz



Series: 2 am [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, I guess????, M/M, One Shot, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 10:52:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14830916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/domokunrainbowkinz/pseuds/domokunrainbowkinz
Summary: Victor has a nightmare





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He was floating again.

It was the same damn boat, same ocean, the same unnerving peacefulness. Water stretching out everywhere he looked, continuing endlessly to the ends of the Earth.

But Victor was content. For once, he didn't feel so isolated, so terrifyingly  _alone_  that he wanted to scream.

Sitting across from him, on another boat, was Yuuri. He was holding onto a rope tied to Victor’s boat, keeping them together.

Victor smiled. If he’s together with Yuuri, he’ll be content with floating in this emptiness, because at least he won’t be alone. But why was Yuuri in another boat?

“Yuuri,” Victor said, gesturing to the space beside him in the boat, “you should get in here with me.”

His arms itched for Yuuri’s touch, for the warmth of his body to bleed into his own. Longed for the softness of Yuuri’s hair as he ran his fingers through it, the sweet taste of his lips when they kissed.

Yuuri shook his head, lifting the rope he was holding onto.

“I can’t, Victor,” Yuuri said, sad but sweet. Victor felt his heart become heavier, sinking slowly to the bottom.

That was when he noticed the oars on either side of Yuuri’s boat.

“I’m letting you go,” Yuuri said. “You’ll be free. I won’t be holding you back anymore.”

Victor tried to scream, but no sound came out. He scrambled to the other side of the boat, to try and stop Yuuri, but the rope was already floating uselessly in the water. Yuuri already began rowing away, looking behind his shoulder. Looking at anywhere but Victor.

“Yuuri!  _Yuuri!”_ Victor cried. He looked around, trying to find something he could use to paddle his boat towards Yuuri’s, but found nothing. He tried using his hands, splashing the water pathetically, the boat not moving a centimetre from where it was.

The gentle waves seemed to be pushing them farther and farther apart, Yuuri becoming a small point in front of Victor. He screamed until his throat was raw, paddled with his hands until they were numb with cold,  _anything_ to get Yuuri to come back.

“Yuuri...Yuuri,” Victor croaked, his voice completely ruined, his hands red and icy from the water. He couldn’t even see Yuuri anymore.

He was alone again.

“Why...?” he whispered. He felt an unfamiliar prickling in his eyes, unusually warm compared to the rest of his body.

_Why did you leave me alone?_

_I hate being alone._

_Don’t leave me alone..._

Suddenly, Victor opened his eyes.

He was met with the dark ceiling of his bedroom, the softness of the sheets enveloping him, Makkachin curled up next to him. His cheeks were damp, and he quickly wiped away the wetness. 

 _A dream - no, a nightmare_ , Victor thought to himself, calming down his racing heartbeat. He’s on land. He’s safe. Yuuri is in the room right beside his and isn’t leaving him anytime soon. There’s still the Rostelecom Cup and the Grand Prix final! And of course they’re just the beginning: there’s Nationals, Four Continents, and World’s! And they have next season, and the next...

He thought about how Yuuri kept mentioning winning the Grand Prix final as his ultimate end-goal, never mentioning other competitions during the season. He decided not to think too much about it.

 _I need some water_ , Victor thought to himself as he slowly got out of bed, taking care not to wake Makkachin in the process. He started making his way to the kitchen when he found Yuuri in the hallway, shuffling back to his bedroom.

“Oh...you’re awake,” Yuuri mumbled, his voice slurred by sleepiness. It took every ounce of Victor’s self control not to fling himself into Yuuri’s arms and kiss him senseless, to cling onto him for the rest of the night. He gave him a smile instead, crossing his arms so he wouldn’t accidentally do something stupid.

“Yeah...Just going to the kitchen for water,” Victor said, trying to sound natural. But he could hear the stilted way his voice came out, and he noticed how Yuuri’s brows furrowed from concern.

“I’ll go with you. Nightmare again?”

Victor nodded, and Yuuri’s eyes softened with understanding. They walked together, Yuuri staying close to Victor’s side, guiding him with a hand tugging gently on his elbow. 

They each got a glass of water and drank in silence. Victor wasn’t sure what he’s supposed to tell Yuuri. There were few things Victor was shameful about, but one of them was how desperately he clung onto others. 

His parents reprimanded him about it, whenever they left for a business trip. His teacher, when he moved up a grade and had to switch classes. His friends, his past lovers, his past coaches. 

He learned to keep his distance, to give others the space they needed, but still, his heart  _wanted._ It wanted so much, and sometimes Victor wished he could rip it out and lock it away.

And it terrified him, how much he wanted Yuuri. He always watched his actions, taking great care to not be too overbearing, to give Yuuri the distance he needed. Don’t hug him too much, don’t touch him all the time, don’t say you miss him too much, don’t - 

“Victor?” Yuuri asked, snapping Victor away from his thoughts. He held Victor’s hand in his own, looking up at him with worry.

“Oh, sorry...I’m just tired, sorry...”

“Why are you apologizing for being  _tired_?” Yuuri asked, his mouth quirked into a smile. Victor managed one as well, a real one this time. 

“You must’ve had quite the nightmare,” Yuuri remarked, drinking the rest of his water.

“Yeah it was...pretty scary,” Victor finished lamely. Yuuri hummed with understanding.

“I used to sneak into my parents’ room when I got a really scary nightmare as a kid,” Yuuri said. “I’d just squeeze right in between them. They made me stop doing that when I was about seven or eight because I got too big.”

“I wish my parents let me do that,” Victor sighed. If he was being completely honest, he never tried. His parents weren’t at home a lot of the time, and most nights were spent alone, curled up under the covers as he waited for the sun to rise.

Yuuri opened his mouth, then closed it. His eyes darted to Victor then away, his hand rubbing the back of his neck, his Adam’s apple bobbing when he swallowed hard. Then, he mumbled something quietly.

“What?”

“I said...you could...sleep...with me?” Yuuri squeaked. He swallowed again, and cleared his throat.

“You can sleep with me,” he repeated, this time stronger. Even in the darkness, Victor could tell Yuuri was blushing bright red, his face a shade darker than it was before.

“Okay,” Victor said, his heart leaping to this throat. “It’ll be like a sleepover!”

Yuuri laughed quietly, then led them back to his room and crowded onto his too-small bed, pressed right up against each other.

“Good night,” Yuuri whispered, then pressed a kiss onto Victor’s forehead.

“Good night,” Victor breathed. He buried his face into the crook of Yuuri’s neck, pressing a soft kiss to his pulse.

He hoped Yuuri didn’t notice the tears beginning to leak out of his eyes. Didn’t notice the way Victor wrapped his arms tightly around Yuuri, an anchor keeping him in place.

He could feel Yuuri’s fingers threading through the strands of his hair, his lips pressed against the crown of his head. He could feel how Yuuri wanted Victor to be close to him, holding onto him just as tightly.

“I love you,” Victor whispered in Russian, a language he knew Yuuri wouldn’t understand. “I love you so much it hurts. Please don’t leave me...”

It may have been his imagination, but he felt Yuuri tighten their embrace, pulling them even closer, until Victor couldn’t tell where his body ended and Yuuri’s began.

Many considered Victor lucky: he grew up wealthy, he had unmatched talent on the ice, he’s a genius that can speak three languages fluently and is currently learning his fourth, he’s won more medals and trophies than he can count. He had everything they ever wanted.

He never considered himself lucky until now, curled up beside Yuuri, being held like he was afraid Victor would float away.

He could only hope that Yuuri wouldn’t let go.

**Author's Note:**

> you guessed it folks!!!!! i still have writer's block
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/domokunrainboz/)
> 
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